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| I have a band. At least temporarily. There are three of us: Bobby on Rhythm guitar/piano and vocals, Danny on lead guitar, and myself (Joelly?) on drums/bells and vocals. It has been kind of one of those magical endeavors where it just falls together and in no time you feel like you have to play a show and let the world (or at least your friends) hear. We are on the verge of getting our first gig, we just have to get a demo cut (we're just going to record a practice next week) and promise the venue we can get people to come. I think we've got a good sound. I'm pretty excited about it. But, I'm not going to be here past May. So why bother? Well, it's hard to explain the feeling of playing music with like-minded friends - it's worth it even for a short time. And, it's a pretty good release of the tension of school. Besides, recordings last for ever, so even short term projects can become immortalized. But I suppose I would "rather be immortal by not dying."
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| I saw my shadow yesterday which means a few more months of hard research and writing. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Although the forecast of rain did lend itself to such fantasies. And rain it did. But not soon enough. So what does this mean? Well, I'll have to settle in to a regular schedule of classes and carrel work. Sometimes making a 9-9 day. But I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. There are benefits to this result. I'll spend much more time inside with the warmth of poetry and ideas. There's a coziness there which otherwise would be absent. Should I worry about cabin fever? Maybe. All work and no play does make Jack a dull boy. But that's what God made friends for. And music. May I be spared madness with a little help from them. In conclusion, this Groundhog Day was a little disappointing for me; but life is full of such happenings, they train us to keep our eyes open for the benefits in all circumstances. May your shadow have been less apparent this Groundhog Day.
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| "If one had studied or knew how to study the fate of this name or word, philosophy, according to the coloring of the times, minds, races, and peoples, not as a scholar or philosopher, but as an idle spectator of their Olympic games, 'standing off like a painter,' our philosophy would necessarily have another form." (J. G. Hamann, Socratic Memorabilia)
spirited philosophers
Oh elusive certainty!
How stubborn and persistent we have been in our search,
how meticulous and toilsome our arguments and experiments to find you.
Why so hidden?
Why so shy?
You make us angry.
or worse: apathetic.
Why so cruel and unsympathetic?
what is philosophy?
a game, a fight, a puzzle, a market, a genre, an inspiring quote, a daimon, a demon, a teacher, a signpost, a daedalus, an icarus, a career, a dead end, an aspiration, an abstraction, a faust, an alibi, a joke, a light, a confounding darkness
the ultimate philosophical question was asked by Pilate. this is the fate of philosophy: to look Truth straight in the face and in darkness of mind to ask again that all-consuming question.
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This week: I spent a good deal of energy studying J. G. Hamann's Socratic Memorabilia and found John Betz's recent work on him immensely helpful. it's been a week of musical innovation, lessons in anatomy, ancient physics (Epicurean), astronomy, Islamic history - they've had quite a tumultuous history right from the beginning - church history, theology, literature - I'm sounding very renaissance. Danny and I will enjoy the maiden swig of our homebrew on Saturday (thanks for the gift, Dad).
To return to the quote I began this blog with: philosophy longs for pure reason - a position from which it might judge all knowledges - but what philosophers fail to see is that philosophy itself is a word, defined differently by different groups throughout different periods of history. it has many shades of meaning and those shades are influenced by people, circumstances, history, climate, etc. it is a word which has been used by many people throughout human history to organize words together and call them truth. philosophy cannot escape the prison of language and step outside to reveal the right language. that will never happen. instead, it must submit to the limits of its time and place. and so why study philosophy? to get a well-paying career with huge benefits, of course. | | |
| I have an office. Well, it's not really an office. But it does have a couple shelves for my books and it does have a door that locks, a chair, and a wide desk surface. Normally they don't give study carrels to undergraduates who are not in the Honors College. But I sent a special request email to the carrel supervisor telling him about my fortune of taking 22 hours of classes and he acquiesced. So now, what's done at school can stay at school.
Yes, I am using that phrase not in its proper or traditional sense. Used in its traditional sense, it is the license for all sorts of mischief and deviance. What's interesting is how less and less true that phrase can be. More and more of our lives are under surveillance. We promote this ourselves with facebook and blogging. Now, employers only need to look up our names through google and they can find the dirt. I know facebook let's you make your page private - but what does that really mean? I had a class last week where the professor basically stated that anything on facebook is viewable by anyone, provided they want to know bad enough. Regardless of privacy restrictions, we are still facing an incredible predicament of exposure. We take more and more pictures at more and more times - something embarrassing is bound to surface. Economic crisis cries out against such foolish broadcasting of ourselves -unless your life is worthy of broadcast- when budgets are tight and hiring slows down - greater competition arises and pictures of drunken foolishness won't be conducive to getting picked.
With that said, with this blog entry I am returning to a more regular blogging agenda. Despite my prophet of doom tone above, I am going to continue to intentionally expose myself to the sea of eyes that is the internet. I will write concerning things learned and things experienced because I will not have time to write individuals concerning these things, and phone calls to distant family and friends will be infrequent at best. I'll end with a quote from Pensees.
"Imagine a number of men in chains, all under sentence of death, some of whom are each day butchered in the sight of others; those remaining see their own condition in that of their fellows, and looking at each other with grief and despair await their turn. This is an image of the human condition." (199)
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| I've done the office and I've done the restaurant (again). And now, after a long hiatus, I'm returning to academia. I'm ready to be done with this drawn out undergraduate education.
This week; a wedding.
Next week; classes.
But before those, today, I had a visit with a friend that was altogether encouraging and healthful.
I'm in between two chapters again. That's how these years have and I'm sure will continue to pass. In chapters, segments. Connected, yet separate. There was the office chapter; which, as the blogs I wrote during that chapter somewhat represent, gave me a sour taste of that type of work environment. Which, by the way, if anyone is interested in a good novel on office life; Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris. I think it exposes the absurdities and craziness of the life but remains faithful to show the goodness that can be found there too.
Anyways, there was the office chapter...may it rest in peace and not revisit me. Then without skipping a beat, the fast food chapter came on. I have to say it was a good corrective to all the nonsense of office life. Where there was inactivity and boredom in the office; there was constant food prep/food service/cleaning in the restaurant and conversation and jocularity through it all. Where there was fear of being caught idling around and pretending to be busy when there was nothing to do in the office; there was mutual work and mutual breaks in the restaurant and understanding managers who'd ask or tell you when something needed doing. In some ways I'll miss the environment of work in the restaurant chapter. I was much more at home amidst food and peers. I never dreaded going in; I always knew what needed to be done and what was expected of me. It was a great improvement from the office chapter indeed. Plus, free food; which did a number on our grocery expenses.
The reason I leave the restaurant with no remorse is because it means I'm moving toward school-- a new chapter. I like thinking in chapters, it helps me piece together my life and think through how I was/how things were and how I am/how things are. It's a simple tool that historians know well, we label and categorize events and study them or recall them in sequence to derive meaning from them. We recall bad experiences and good ones in order to form a better knowledge of what we'd like/not like for our lives in the future. I also like talking in chapters because, maybe one day I'll write the book--but if a chapter's worth attention is given to the four months I spent in an office, I pity the reader. So, a book may never be written; you're not that important, Joel. But, don't we all have dreams of being important enough to have your story told? We tell our story to each other and ourselves anyways, so we have to write the book even if it never gets published and distributed. I guess, everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book. So I'll keep categorizing, knowing that there'll be a time when I'll have to say, Hey, you know I had a crappy office job once too. Let me tell you bout this one time when I...
Yes.
A new chapter.
School again. But, it'll sure be different. Last time I was in school, I was engaged. Now I'm married. Maybe it will be less hectic? I don't know, three upper-level philosophy courses, we'll see. I'll guess we'll see where this crazy novel goes next. I know where it'll take me this week. That's New Hampshire. Family. Home. That's not a bad start to a new chapter--even if it will be a relatively short visit, begun by a red-eye 15-hour car drive making two days into three.
But it will be worth it. I'll see my nephew and niece. And we'll celebrate my sister's new chapter.
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